December 2010
29 posts
Why is my silence such a burden to other people
Seriously someone I considered a friend told me that I need to “get out more” and is it weird that I felt kind of insulted by those words. Like really if that’s all you have to say to me during a conversation then maybe I should stop talking to you for a while. Since I can’t deal with people who don’t seem to understand that some people just don’t talk alot.
That awkward moment when your friend has bad breath but you don’t want to tell them because it would make things awkwarder.
How did I know you were going to ask me that
During work one of the female coworkers actually pulled me to side and asked me the sexuality question. And strangely enough I saw it coming from a mile away just from how she was acting and the ” I don’t wanna make you mad” comment she added in beforehand. Slowly but surely after a few minutes of joking around she asked and I told her about my confusion and she seemed to...
So I went to El Nopal for supper with my friend
And I had a great time meeting his college friends and the food wasn’t that bad either. But then when I came home my mom asked me how things went when I came back home and lets just say the conversation was pretty awkward. Mostly because the questions she asked were pretty irrelevant to me considering I didn’t think things like that even mattered anymore but she obviously cared enough...
Things have changed between us but maybe it's not...
Seeing you today I purposely distanced myself from you since I still held some resentment about what happened Thursday. Which I’m sure sounds really dumb but it naturally happened so it couldn’t help it at the time. But then you waited/initiated the conversation we had earlier and somehow it made things better. While I can’t have your heart at least I have your friendship and...
Myspace flashbacks
I logged back into myspace earlier just to look at the messages stored in my inbox from the past and it was kinda fun seeing the old me develop overtime just in those messages. Things I learned:
I joined the site initially because of my friend Jared
At fourteen I was very much a poser, I didn’t know how to spell, and I cursed like a sailor.
At fifteen I began to develop into the person I...
I forgot to mention working today
My factory job forced me to work Sunday because they lacked enough volunteers but the jokes on them because we did absolutely nothing the whole time lol. Though the only bad thing was that I hardly knew any of the people who were there so mostly just stood around listening to them gossip. I’m fine with meeting new people but since it’s my first time meeting so many of them I...
Oh god I broke something that might be important...
Even though I’m like the tallest person in the house, we still have really high shelves that I can’t reach and this leads me into the fml moment I had today. While I was reaching for this cup on the highest shelf in the kitchen somehow two small plates fell off the shelf and broke on the floor (in slow motion seemingly). Now if these were just any other plate it would be fine but no...
Thanks for giving me a good laugh mom :D
Normally my mom brings like store bought desserts to our family gatherings each year but only because it’s easier for her then actually taking time out to make something. Anyways she somehow overheard my grandma’s husband saying that he thought she cook because of that and she decided to accept his challenge and bake something. So anyways I was siting in my room minding my own...
Today my feelings were literally crushed by my...
Since I’m not in the mood to rant I’ll just get the point:
It all started with me missing the vibes you brought to the workplace and hoping to see you at least once this week.
Then somehow you missed the bus that you were supposed to be on and which made me think that finally things are working in my favor considering I got to see you today.
As the night goes on things go downhill...
Mom: What’s that on your neck
Me: Oh it’s a scar that’s been here for weeks why?
Mom: I just wanted to know who’s been sucking on your neck that’s all *walks away*
Stepdad: Yeah when I saw it I thought he had a girlfriend too…..
Me:…… awkward laugh
-Forever alone icon here-
If you can’t handle the feedback given about things you say maybe you shouldn’t say them. Just a thought.
My boss wants me to draw his wife as a commision
Which is sort of shocking since I’ve never been commissioned before and he hasn’t even seen my art yet. I wonder if he found out about my art abilities through my supervisor since I don’t remember mentioning it to him. Wow what have I gotten myself into when I agreed that I’m interested in the offer. Not to say that I can’t get the job done it’s just that I...
An untraditional Christmas
Today my mom gave me my Christmas gifts which as promised was the GPS I needed and few clothing related items. I really appreciate that she still got me anything considering I’m eighteen now, but wow she has no idea what kinds of clothes I like to wear lol. But because they were from her, I’ll wear them proudly since it’s the thought that counts in the end. Oh yeah and my family...
Ok I’ll admit it you made me feel jealous today when I noticed how close you were with someone else. I think what got to me the most was definitely the physical contact you two had together that was so sincere and playful that I wanted with you. And it sucks because I know that I can never have what you guys have…..
After getting off of work and realizing that my ride wasn’t there yet I took the time out of my day to simply observe my surroundings. There I stood on the sidewalk looking off into the distance for that white car that I knew would carry me home at some point. But not just that I looked at how the lights were spread across the parking lots and the variety cars that drove past me each having...
I feel bad that you attempted to talk to me and I answered with a one word reply… sorry I don’t know why I let a possible conversation slip by especially one that I actually wanted all night. I dunno what came over me but I won’t let it happen again purposely at least.
You guys accidently came across a different side...
While working hard tonight unloading cans my hair slowly but surely got worse and worse throughout the night. So during my break I ran off and went to the bathroom to put my beanie on to cover it up so no one would see how bad it had gotten. After returning from the bathroom I came back and bent down to tie my shoe and this girl steals my beanie as a joke. And at that moment I thought about the...
Sorry that I lead you to believe we were closer...
After thinking about it we’ve known each other for almost three years but we know nothing about each other, we’ve never hung out, and we barely talk anymore. Yeah we have some sort of friendship that exists between us but I wouldn’t call you my best friend. In no way do I mean this as an insult to you or what we have it’s just that when I say that word I want to mean it...
Whenever I go to work the security guards are required to ask us to take off our hats. But I never really take my beanie off all of the way since I have really bad hat hair most of the time. Seriously Afros (gravity defying)+ Beanies (gravity) = Chaos.
Something was different about you today
I couldn’t figure out exactly what was out of the norm about you but something seemed off especially visually. Oh and it seemed like you were waiting for me to start some sort of conversation but I avoided it because I lacked something interesting to talk about. This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve felt this way…
Me and my mom had one of those deep talks
And since I don’t think I’ve talked about this yet I’ll post about it now. Yesterday I took it upon myself to go and have a meeting with my mom in an attempt to fix things. And this time it actually worked things got through to her and things are now back to “normal”. It turns out she’s alot more accepting then I expected her to be who knew.
My dads on the run from the police department...
I was just told this by my mom who seems to find out everything occurring through the grapevine. Anyways my first thoughts were “What did he do this time” and ” Wait didn’t I just talk to him yesterday”. Then again this isn’t unexpected considering he’s been a similar situation before and usually keeps things to himself.Still I can’t believe my dads...
I can be an idiot at times
Yesterday when I got to work I got out of my car and left my keys in the ignition while also locking the door. Which I knew was bad enough so I just thought ” Hey I’ll climb in through the back after work” and for some reason I thought this was a good idea at the time. So work ends and I go to my car and attempt to unzip the back part so I can climb in and not have to call my...
Ugh life sucks right now but because I needed it...
Within yesterday and today I’ve told my mom alot of things that she needed to know and these were the big things:
I’m not the Christian child that she wanted
I’m changing my name because I cant take being a Jr any longer
That she is the reason I’m even in college and that I cared so much about my education.
That I don’t like her treating me like a item/product...
Priorities were made quickly
I’ve been thinking about Thursday and I think I made the dumbest yet most logical decision to date. When I left school I told my writing teacher I’d come back in two hours with my papers finished so that he was could add them to my final grade for the semester. But that didn’t happen instead I chose to spend that time searching for my lost dog. While some might wonder why this...
I've lost your soul and now I'm left in this void
Oreo you are one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had and I can’t believe your last moments had to end like this. When I gave out those lost dogs signs I tried holding on to the last amounts of hope I had within me just to keep myself going. But undoubtedly my optimism was diminishing before my very own eyes. When I walked into that Meltons and the bag boy recognized your image I...
