November 2010
57 posts
This morning me and my family got into an...
So yet again my brother told my mom something that I said about her while I was venting about my mood to him. Looking back I have no idea why I even opened up to him about the feelings I had at the time. That in itself was a bad decision, but back to the story. I told him how much it annoyed me that she felt she needed to help me with directions. And he goes and tells her secretly about what I...
October 2010
76 posts
Signature Looks
I always wondered how they reached that stage of being known just from a physical standpoint. For example with it being Halloween a guy at my job was dressed as Slash, and I knew from first glance who he was portraying. But it’s odd because I know very little about Slash as a musician besides his signature hat,curly hair, and sunglasses. Which I’ve only seen a few times but it stuck...
Since it's now the day of Halloween I'll explain...
It’s the one day of the year where everyone can be a kid again and pretend. I love walking around and feeling like I’m in this surreal(dream) world for a day. This is the only day where you can dress up as ridiculously as you want and be accepted for it. Today is about society loosening up on change, since we’re all changing ourselves (psychically) for a day. No other day are you...
I've yet to visit my stepdad in hospital and he's...
I feel that I should visit him at some point, but I hate how depressing the mood is inside of hospitals. Maybe I’ll go see him tomorrow for a little while just to know I did.
I hate when people comment my facebook pictures...
I just wonder why? Then my next thought is should I delete it before the person it was intended for see’s it. Or like what am I supposed to say back “Um sorry I’m also friends with someone you hate with a passion.”
anthonycq moment lol
My first bonfire happened last night
And it was as great as I imagined it would be. Everyone around an open flame talking and having a good time. Pumpkin pinatas filled with Halloween candy being smashed. Also it wasn’t like crowded to the core with people. It was like just the right amount and I actually knew almost everyone there too. I actually took a few pictures that I might post later on today or Sunday.
Being there...
Can you hear me now?
I hate attempting to talk to someone but it seems my words can’t be heard by anyone but me. It feels like such a waste of words, since they are spoken only to be heard. But one day you’ll hear my voice and understand the message I’ve thought up just for you. That’s motivates me to keep trying since your worth the effort.
It's hard to guess other people's intentions
I just back home from work and my boss and a coworker both totally made me angry. My boss decided to talk down to me like I was a little kid as if I didn’t know how to do my job. Then my coworker tried to boss me around by telling me what to do and when to do it. Like really I know she has a dominant type of personality but seriously don’t give me orders. It’s fine to make...
I found my halloween costume
I’m going to be an Indian this year. I know very cliche but this year I don’t really care as much about what I’m wearing. The costumes just for the Halloween party I plan to go to this Friday. Tomorrow I still have to go and get something for my head since my costumes lacking something. I’m either going to get a feather like headband or a wig since Afros don’t really...
I need to sleep, but I can't because I have to...
What have I really gotten myself into, I feel so overwhelmed again. I hate this feeling the feelings of this endless stress flowing through my veins. And I can’t take it anymore, there’s too much on my plate right now. How will I fix this? Where’s the resolution to my problems? This is really depressing, I just don’t know how I’m going to survive the burdens infront...
Adam is a spaz.: I've always wondered this. →
dividethesky:
Why is it okay for African Americans to call each other “nigger/nigga,” but if a Caucasian person calls an African American “nigger/nigga,” they get pissed and want to “bust a cap” in you? I don’t think I’ll ever understand this. The word “nigger” means uneducated. So, for all purposes of…
Well this topic is one of those “hot” topics people seem to avoid. But...
Apparantly there's a tornado warning
Here’s how my mom’s phone conversation with me a few minutes ago:
Mom: Go to the basement with the dog there’s a tornado warning for our area Me: But…… I have to get ready for school Mom: Ok but just go in the basement for now Me: Alright then bye -carries comb,mirror,toothpaste to basement-
It’s kinda sad how I’m not taking this seriously at all. Why...
"Your so spacey"
Spacey:
slang vague and dreamy, as if under the influence of drugs
I’m totally a dreamer and it’s one of the reasons why I can enjoy life. Sometimes you don’t really need for things to go your way. Since those barriers put before you are just a challenge set up to make you stronger. Dreams aren’t there to make you hate reality at all, they are there I think to give...
Oh I got the wrong message again....
My feelings once again led me on to believe you potentially could be more then friend if that. But then reality reminded me that you probably don’t feel the same way and its better to move on. Sure you didn’t directly say this but I kinda just know. Yeah I felt a little uncomfortable working around you. And it felt like you could see that in my eyes so I avoided contact. Yeah I’d...
Ugh FML this always happens
I think I’m cursed cause every time someone says they’ll hangout with me something happens where they cant. This sucks it kinda just ruined my day a little. I’m going to go sleep this off probably, no wonder I don’t plan to hangout with people more often I always get let down. Forever at home lol
My mom asks me to pray for my stepdad
Because he’s going through surgery after a motorcycle accident and a bunch of other things. Which means he’s in pretty bad shape right now and it sucks knowing I can’t do anything about it besides pray. I want to pray but then again will the prayers of a doubtful believer benefit him?
Maybe I should try just to say I did
You push me because you care
Who’s the person that cares about me most in life? I’d have to say that person is my mom. She worked through college with me and my brother. And she guided me in the right direction even when I tried to push her away. The biggest gift she gave me was the importance that an education held in shaping your life. Whenever I got a C or below on my report card I felt like a failure in her...
You know those times when you just need a hug from...
But no one’s around to give it….. right now is one of those moments. There’s alot in life that I need to figure out. Hopefully I can sleep on it and wake up tomorrow feeling much better.
It's great to know that some of my friends from...
I dunno you just get that feeling that after graduation your friendships are over. And in some cases it does end at that point. But some stay around for reasons unknown and it feels great to know their still there for me when I need them.
Personal Movies
Isn’t it interesting how you can tell someone everything you can think of about your life, but they can never fully grasp why you are who you are. Sure you can say this or that happened to you but those words don’t do the situations justice. Because your life will always be a mystery to others in some way. And that’s why life is kinda like this personal movie that your brain...
I choose you well maybe not
I hate being interested in two people at the same time. While it feels great to see that there are multiple options there to pursue. Still I wonder why my heart doesn’t automatically you know choose one over the other. I just hope in the end things become clear and I don’t have to walk aimlessly in love. Since it feels like I’m ready to risk my heart for one of them when the time...
I miss having Spanish class
Since I haven’t had Spanish since high school I’m slowly losing the things I’ve learned and I don’t want that to happen. Really I want to develop it more and one day be capable of speaking it fluently. Cause it’s so much fun speaking Spanish I think I like it more then English actually lol. Even though I’m a little slow with remembering every words meaning....
Contacts fail
One of my contacts is stuck under my top eyelid somehow it got up there and it wont come out. Really how do these things happen lol. It’s really irritating oh and I’m going to see Paranormal Activity 2 tomorrow possibly with a friend.
Awkward situation: Chapstick
I feel really awkward when I’m with other people and I need to put chap stick on. Cause it’s really annoying when your lips feel like they’re cracking. So I try to get away from people for a few seconds to put it on. Cause it feels weird if they watch me. But wherever I go it seems like people are trying to watch me within those few minutes it’s insane.
Your so ready to throw me under the bus whenever...
And I was dumb enough to believe you would keep a promise you made. Don’t make promises that you’ll keep what happened to yourself. Then months after use it against me as blackmail for your own benefit. I wont forget this day and you know I’ve decided I’m better off without you in my life. Your ignorant to the world and the ability to understand others. And really I...
Breaking free of old habits
I’m a quiet guy if I haven’t already mentioned it in my blog. Which probably leads others to assume that I’m not someone they’d like to talk to based on first impressions. Cause really I’m not fully capable of opening up with people as much as I’d like too. Since I still feel sort of restricted at times with what I can do around others because I kinda fear...
The lights went out for one hour in my house...
So I like found my cd player/speakers (Yeah I still have one of those which made me feel outdated lol) and I joygasmed(danced) in the dark to the sounds of Alphabeat and Mike Snow. While my brother used a flashlight to make lighting effects all over the place. Good times
Fears: Losing your hearing
Other people might not know this but when my ears become clogged, it makes me feel really vulnerable. Why? Because the first thing that comes to mind when this happens are those thoughts of what if it never comes back. And I’m reminded how much my ability to hear means to me. Only when it’s taken away do I actually think about how great of an ability it is. Really without sound you...
I want to be friends with you but it's not...
For some reason it still feels like your in the stranger zone. Sure we can say “hey” to each other but that won’t make a friendship. And neither will the small talk created just by being around each other on a regular basis. It almost feels like we’re stuck in that acquaintance phase and if I don’t do anything it’ll go nowhere. Or maybe I’m just over...
Nothings on tumblr, or tv, and it's dark outside
I’m sure there’s something unimportant I should be doing right now oh yeah homework lol. No it’s important I’d just prefer to think it’s not to make myself less stressed about finishing it by tomorrow. So much for being in denial.
Woah I have an inpulse to buy a new Mp3 player
It just realized I could afford a new one which sounds amazing right about now. I can’t even explain, how much I’ve missed having an mp3 player to carry around and listen to throughout the day. They just make any day a little better and they’re so much better then the radio. Which is what I’ve been using as a replacement ever since my old mp3 just didn’t want to turn...
We eat breakfast throughout the day here
Like my family has made me psychologically prefer it over any other meal of the day. Since we eat it so often on a daily basis. Whenever we go out to places like Cracker Barrel ,Bob Evans, and Ihop the people waiters know my parents by name. And they have conversations with them whenever we are there like they are old friends catching up with each other.
Sidenote: This morning while I was eating...
I actually think I've reached that point of not...
Like no one around me seems to be someone I’d want to be with. I dunno it’s just weird cause you’d think with all of the people surrounding me daily, there would be a spark with someone. This just leaves me wondering when will that person walk into my life. Or if they’re already in it when will those feelings arise within me. Everyone says not to look for love and that it...
Time to buckle down
So I’m dedicating today to catching up on my math mods, so I wont have to finish them in my next semester. I’m in mod two when we’re supposed to be in mod five at this point. Which is terrible but I went really slow into it from the start. It’s not that I can’t do the work, its more I’m just not much of a fan of math so I put it off purposely. But I figure I...
We aren't that close alright
My dog was just barking at the door downstairs and you wanna know what my brother does? He goes down there and opens the door to investigate. Like really if you cant see something through the doors blinds don’t just open the door. Cause then your opening literally the only barrier we have from the world. So then I told him that if someone were to attack him, I probably wouldn’t help...
I love the feeling of finding a new song that you...
So you play it over and over again cause it never gets old.
"You have really small handwriting"
I’ve heard this statement so many times I no longer really know how to reply to it. Sometimes I laugh or I say thanks but really what can I say about it. The size of my writing is just another natural thing in life that I don’t really have control of fully. While I can change the size temporarily, I’ll always eventually go back into the habit I’ve created. Sure there are...
I had a dream that I'd finally gotten braces and I...
This is probably something most people don’t know about me, but I’ve always wanted braces. Not because I need them since both my mom/dentist say that my teeth are fine. But for some reason I like the way they look visually, they make people look cuter. And it’s nice to know they are fixing their teeth by having them too. I wonder if they have like braces that you can just put in...
Being around other people makes me less hungry for...
Why do you care so much?
Do you ever get that annoyed feeling because someone seems to care too much. I know that sounds ridiculous but that’s how I feel sometimes with my mom. I understand she has the best intentions by watching over me but sometimes it’s just an annoyance. An example being yesterday night I was running late for work, which I knew as I rushed to get ready to leave. So in walks my mom for some...
TMI Puberty and it's hairyness
I can’t really remember when I started to gain hair but I remember my first time shaving. You know the first kinds of hair to grow in were like armpit hair and pubes and I didn’t like how they looked. I pretty much looked at myself in the mirror naked and thought it looked strange. Which lead to me secretly borrowing my cousins razor to shave for the first time. I didn’t really...
Guessing other people's age
I played this game at my job earlier since I’m the new hire and they wondered what age I’d guess them to be. It turns out unexpectedly I’m actually the youngest person in my area which surprised me. In my head I saw alot of the people around me as younger then they actually were or closer to my age at least. Probably because I still have that high school mentality of being...
I don't sleep on my bed anymore
There’s nothing wrong my bed but a few weeks ago I wanted to see what it was like sleeping on the floor. And actually I’ve decided I prefer it for some reason. Plus I get to use my sleeping bag which makes everything better. My floor is now my bed and my bed has turned into a table of sorts.
