May 2013
2 posts
Since today was my last day of ceramics, I knew that I had to admit somethings to my crush before heading home or regret would just take over. So as everyone else in our class left we just sat around talking about dubstep,ghosts,and pot until his friend/ride walked in. With little to no time left it became a “now or never” kind of situation so I asked him if we could talk in the...
Guys my car died on the way to work yesterday morning and I hoped this wouldn’t be a big deal but this time it is. Just like my first car this one has reached a point where I have to choose between buying an engine or another car. Basically this is a lose/lose situation cause I can’t really afford either option with my soon to be nonexistent savings account. Eh these things happen and...
April 2013
5 posts
Waiting is something that I’ve always seemed to do when it came down to admitting my feelings to the person I liked. Why? Because each time I’d hold myself back till this unseen sign gave me the okay and it never did. But now I’m starting to realize that doing this was only giving me another excuse to put off our risky exchange of words. For me what ifs were easier to handle than...
My female coworker recently mentioned out loud that one of the guys in our area (who was off) has been sending her gay vibes for a while now, opening up this what if conversation. As she talked about her observations, I thought about how the other guys around me would react since I didn’t care about his sexuality. One of them was shocked but more in a mind blown kind of way while the others...
While dancing around to Paramore’s newest album I accidentally knocked my laptop off the counter, sending it into a free-fall that ended with color splotched cracks. Even though I instantly knew it was broken, denial made me think turning it on and off again would somehow fix things (it didn’t). Apparently fixing it would be more expensive then buying a new one but then I’ll lose...
Its so different yet it has this energy about it...
At first my one on one advice was just another attempt at helping someone with their relationship related problems, until my crush revealed that he was quietly “eavesdropping” on our conversation. Then my words began revealing things that I secretly wanted him to know “indirectly” in hopes that he’d somehow catch on to my game. Who knows maybe its time to take chances...
March 2013
5 posts
On my way to work tonight a police officer was sitting in an unmarked mustang and of course with my luck I got pulled over for speeding. Like aren’t there more important things they could be doing on the job then sitting around waiting for someone to “ignore” metal signs with numbers on them. Well at least I didn’t have to suffer alone since another person got pulled over...
Sometimes its hard to relate to the people around me and maybe that’s my fault. Even though I feel more open now then before it doesn’t feel like I’m contributing enough during conversations. Everyone else is sharing their stories and mines are being held in because I feel like they aren’t as interesting. When they could be. Are there people who actually care about what I...
Oddly enough helping my mom clean a building at times can be entertaining because of the endless clues pointing towards an in office affair going on between the head doctor and one of his nurses. We’ve both noticed changes in his behavior and my mom once found a letter near the dumpster pointing at another guy being involved with her. Its almost like we’re undercover detectives who...
What’s your problem Red? I was just sitting there listening to others talk when all of sudden you decide to target me with those aggressive words. Ones that should’ve been saved for an enemy, not the friend I tried to be for you. Something so small shouldn’t have made this happen. Was that really the only way to get your point across…. with those threats? Then after its all...
One of the guys at work has recently started copying my mannerisms when I look in his direction and it just makes me laugh because obviously he has to exaggerate things so I’ll catch on. Sometimes I honestly forget that I’m actually even controlling my own body since everything just seems to become another habit for me. Like autopilot is automatically initiated until something reminds...
February 2013
4 posts
Your life continuously seems to be going downhill but I try not to tell you that because I feel like you already know it. Instead I’m the person that just listens so at least you’ll understand that someone cares about your problems. Or maybe this is just me expressing pity for someone who indirectly asks for it? Since your storm cloud seems to follow you around all day, the least I...
Me being vague: Walking down one hallway after another I couldn’t seem to find another person to ask for help, only camera’s. They were waiting around every corner capturing my image as I looked at theirs. Their only goal was to record while mines was to simply open a single door. Behind its wooden surface awaited the key to my deadline.
Me getting to the point: I didn’t get to...
After going to my school’s downtown campus and seeing that two of my clay projects were ruined because of my own carelessness last week, I sort of just wanted to dig a hole and lay in it for few hours but that wasn’t an option at the time. So instead I picked a corner in the hallway and just started drawing while music from the lower floor played in the background. Even though I...
1 tag
How I imagined Beyonce’s Superbowl performance:
Using the song Countdown as an opener she could of made the performance based around her rise to fame with a huge mashup.
Starting with Say my name. All four of the original members would perform and if they couldn’t get the former member use Solange or a look alike as a replacement. (Referencing her start)
Then it switches to just...
January 2013
6 posts
Spur of the moment this morning I asked a coworker out to a movie and she’s always pretty busy, so hearing her actually say that she was free Thursday and interested in going was great. Even though my words were jumbled and I forgot to ask for her number and plan a time the hard part is now over. One thing I do regret doing though is telling another coworker about it because of course he...
Looking for something stresses me out in ways I can’t even fully understand. Its like the object was just in your hands and then it somehow decided to initiate a game of hide and seek on its own. At first you’re like I know a few places it could be but then when its not there your slowly driven into this state of madness where you’re questioning everything around you. Days go by...
When my family goes out for food my mom is the kind of person who pays close attention to how our waiter’s mood,body language, and overall service changes depending on the table they’re serving. Like for example earlier at Cracker barrel she noticed that another group nearby had just ordered and gotten their food before we could even get drinks so she asked for manager. Before when...
Agreeing to help someone with one thing only to watch them pile on others…. bothers me inside because they aren’t even willing to simply ask you if your okay with it. Everything becomes about getting their needs met and your left feeling like the bad friend when you aren’t interested in helping anymore. This friendship does mean a lot to me but the pressure of fitting into this...
Sometimes its nice to actually feel genuinely missed by others and that’s how I felt as I was being re-welcomed into my group of coworkers with smiling faces, kind words, and tightly wrapped arms. Like everyone else this job doesn’t really mean anything to me besides its benefits but the people do because they help me make it through each night.
December 2012
1 post
Last week my step dad realized that my car was leaking oil so he told me to get it fixed and sure its important but these car problems are like destroying my savings. This alone cost seven weeks of pay and its just hard to lose so much in a single moment. Then today I realized that my door handle on the driver’s side is broken again for the third time… but I’m not fixing it yet...
November 2012
6 posts
Thanksgiving at my grandmother’s each year always seems to fall into this pattern and it sends me major deja vu vibes because its almost too similar to past events. Then on Black Friday I stopped by Pac Sun and Hot Topic for shirts since that’s really the only thing I’ll never have enough of in my closet. For some reason I couldn’t find a Marceline shirt for guys so maybe...
Why'd I let her get away?
Since he asked first and you agreed, I guess this means that my only chance is now gone. What sucks the most is that while I was still figuring out if these feelings for you were sincere the other guy was already slowly winning over your heart with his words. Would it be wrong for me to tell you now just so you’ll know or is it better left unsaid at this point? Even though its too late I...
If the “l” on the keyboard is to like a post and the “j” and “k” are for scrolling does this mean that the “h” could be used for posts you hate at some point? Just a thought
Grindr, Jack'd, Skout....
I’ve become the guy with an empty profile and a headless torso. My profile isn’t there for potential dates anymore….now its there purely for attention which is what you get when others assume that your another hookup waiting to happen. I’ll exchange pictures and even talk but it never reaches that point of actual contact, cause truthfully that’s not what I’m...
Within the last week or two I realized that the girl in my art class feels like the kind of person I could see myself dating but it looks like she might like someone else. The other guy sits next to her now and only talks to her in Spanish so basically it makes me feel…..jealous even though I try to pretend that it doesn’t. While I don’t want to give up on getting her attention...
October 2012
3 posts
Two other crushes that I have:
Girl in my art class (JA): On the first day of class she gave the teacher a picture of a panda. She’s on the quieter side which makes me want to know more, since I wonder whats going through her head when she’s working in the corner (with headphones in). Last week I was going to walk over and talk to her but I was too shy so I just sat and kind of looked in her direction every now and...
Silently judging you
Recently an older coworker started calling this heavier guy I work with “ESPN” so I asked why and he said that “He sits around all day watching this station just to seem like he knows about sports… while eating pizza isn’t it gross he he”. And as I’m hearing this the only thing I can think about is how this changes my image of a bully completely since...
First rule of the presidential debate
Ignore the moderator and his two minute rules unless you’ve finished talking.
September 2012
2 posts
There’s this girl that I’ve worked with for like months now and I’m starting to have a crush on her for reasons I can’t really explain besides this look that might be in her eyes when we talk. Like it could just be my imagination creating something that’s not there but at the same time this sort of seems like an unspoken sign. Maybe after getting to know her...
I got one of those “you should visit” messages from my dad, so on Sunday I spent about three or four hours with him and my brother at the concession stand he runs in a nearby park. Since we barely talked… it kind of felt like I was just there to help throw away trash and get waters for the customers but we did watch the girls flag football games together so that’s...
August 2012
4 posts
Sometimes being tired feels more like a flaw then just another human quality that I have to accept as my reality. Just laying in bed can make me feel like I’m preparing myself for the casket I’ll be placed in if my remains aren’t disposed of in another way. Its strange that this thought even crosses my mind at twenty but sometimes I just want more time in a day… without...
Whenever I watch a documentary about someone who is living their dream it sort of fuels me to keep hoping and working to do the same when it comes to art. Like I know that these success stories aren’t common or the norm but really it doesn’t hurt to try right? Isn’t that what these people did, they saw their future while living in the present and prepared themselves for it which...
Last weekend my best friend was visiting so we spent Friday and Saturday together. On Friday I went over her house for a cookout with her family and a few other people. At one point she tried to teach me how to change a diaper for fun but that didn’t work out and we went to Kroger’s for veggie burritos and cake.
Moving on to Saturday with like four other people we went to Gattiland...
July 2012
4 posts
When your boss catches your coworker and you “sleeping” on the job and then says “I could fire you for this but I wont because if you have my back I’ll have yours” seems like her way of saying both sides can benefit from being on good terms with each other. Not that its hard to get along with her or anything since she’s basically one of us with a little more...
During work some of the The Killer’s stage equipment came through our area so my friend and I felt like we needed to do something to them since this kind of thing doesn’t really happen that often. While I just wanted to leave fingerprints she kept saying that she wanted to put her boobs on one of the boxes lol. Indirect contact with an awesome band was made.
Its so annoying when people feel like they have to complain about every little problem that occurs because it shows that you don’t know when to pick your battles. If the things your saying aren’t being used to reach some sort of solution then just keep them to yourself and move on.
Also another thing that annoys me are those people who only comment on things when they know someone...
June 2012
3 posts
While I was working my coworker jokingly hit me with a lashing line and it made me kind of uncomfortable because of his race….and history so I made sure that he knew it in the nicest way possible. Then when he apologized he used the phrase “your kind” which isn’t okay either in my opinion but hey its only ignorance not hate so I can handle it.
So a coworker asked me if I wanted to go to Holiday world next Friday and I figured why not since amusement parks are great and our town no longer has one nearby but she left out one “little” thing…. her family is going too. Which turned the trip I imagined with coworkers into this meet her family kind of thing that I’m not really interested in at all. I could always just...
Okay so my coworkers and I were unloading this wall of boxes two nights ago and it fell over. Normally this wouldn’t be a big deal but… this time someone was hit in the wrist by a box while an important person was observing our area so it became one in a matter of seconds. Since I was the last person to touch the boxes my supervisor wrote me up for “horseplay” even though...
May 2012
5 posts
Why are you avoiding ______?
The answer is that I’m not really sure why because its just happening. Maybe I’m letting little unimportant things get to me. She obviously cares about our friendship if shes willing to talk about the avoidance with other people. When you mix one little comment with moodiness the result is obviously my silent overreaction. Since I keep everything to myself this situation is probably...
I understand that you don’t have a car right now and life is a lot harder without it but that’s not my problem…its yours. When we’re on good terms and your willing to help pay for gas I’ll consider giving you rides but its not something you should just expect from me on a regular basis. Plus you don’t seem to be saving for a new car so what’s your plan...
I haven’t really been going out lately and its actually kind of nice because it gives me the whole day to work on my art. Not to say that my friend isn’t a fun dude to be around or anything…its just our meet ups require so much effort on my behalf since I’m the only one that drives. Then again he makes up for it in other ways like being the one who initiates things. Wait...
One of my coworkers was telling me a story when all of a sudden a certain someone decided to interrupt the conversation so that I would help her do something she could’ve done on her own. Basically sending a message that she just wanted to end our interaction for other reasons. Whenever the tables were turned it was okay but apparently its not in my case. Just a thought.
Quick Glee rant: Wasted screentime
Once again glee threw in a story about one of school’s staff members (Coach Beiste) and it always confuses me because I thought the show was supposed to be about the students? Just looking back at the series as a whole they’ve looked into Will’s divorce(something no one cared about), Sue’s sister dying, and Emma’s OCD for no real reason at all. You’d think that...
